Too Young to Be This Tired: The Hidden Struggles of South Asian Women in Midlife

If you’re in your early 40s, juggling work, family obligations, and ageing parents, and suddenly feeling utterly exhausted – emotionally, physically, spiritually – you’re not alone. So many South Asian women find themselves in midlife wondering, Why am I so tired all the time? Why don’t I feel like myself anymore?

The answer might not be stress or age. It could be perimenopause.

Perimenopause – the transitional phase leading up to menopause – can begin as early as 35 and lasts for several years. It’s not just about irregular periods. It’s about the anxiety that arrives out of nowhere, the aching joints, the foggy brain, and the fatigue so deep it feels like you’re walking through wet cement.

And yet, in our communities, it remains hidden.

Cultural Silence and the Cost of Suppression

In South Asian families, women are often the backbone – the nurturers, the peacekeepers, the invisible engines that keep the home running. We’re taught from an early age to endure discomfort without complaint, to smile through pain, and to “just get on with it.” But this cultural conditioning means that many of us suffer in silence, brushing off symptoms as stress or weakness.

According to a recent study by the Fawcett Society, a staggering number of women across the UK reported that menopause symptoms negatively impacted their lives – and South Asian women were among the least likely to seek help.

Why? Because we’re not given permission to pause. To prioritise ourselves. To say, “I need support.”

The Midlife Awakening (Not Crisis)

What if this exhaustion isn’t a sign that something is wrong, but a message from your body calling you back to yourself?

Midlife is not a crisis – it’s a wake-up call. A powerful invitation to finally turn inward after decades of putting everyone else first. And the fatigue? That’s your body asking you to slow down. To honour the changes. To stop ignoring yourself.

What You Can Do Right Now

1. Learn to Listen to Your Body
Start tracking your symptoms – there are apps like Balance or simply use a journal. Becoming aware of patterns helps you prepare and advocate for yourself.

2. Prioritise Rest Like It’s Sacred
Sleep and recovery aren’t luxuries – they’re essential for hormonal balance. Nap if you need to. Say no when your body says stop.

3. Speak to a Menopause-Literate GP
If your doctor isn’t listening, ask for someone else. Request a hormone panel if necessary and explore options like HRT, nutrition, and lifestyle changes.

4. Find Your Tribe
You don’t have to do this alone. Whether it’s a support group, a coach, or a WhatsApp group of women who get it, connection brings strength.

5. Reframe the Fatigue
Instead of judging yourself for not “keeping up,” try asking: What part of me is ready to change? What do I need to let go of?

You Are Not Too Young or Too Late

Let’s be clear – midlife is not the beginning of the end. It’s the beginning of a bold, deeply connected chapter where your needs, voice, and health finally matter. You are not lazy. You are not losing it. You’re evolving.

Let’s stop hiding our tiredness. Let’s start honouring it – and each other.