Understanding Perimenopause & Menopause: How South Asian Families and Friends Can Offer Support

Menopause isn’t just a personal journey – in South Asian culture, where family is central and collective responsibility is the norm, it becomes a shared experience. It affects not only the woman going through it, but her partner, children, siblings, in-laws, and wider community. And yet, in so many households, menopause is shrouded in silence – seen as something shameful, embarrassing, or simply not spoken about.

But the truth is, South Asian women need more support than ever during this stage of life, not just from doctors, but from the people closest to them. They need to be heard, seen, and held – not dismissed or told to “just get on with it.”

Whether it’s your mum, wife, sister, daughter, aunt, or friend going through perimenopause or menopause, your understanding can profoundly impact her well-being. She may be carrying a heavy emotional load behind her warm smile, managing physical discomfort, emotional shifts, cultural expectations, and generational silence all at once.

What Happens During Perimenopause & Menopause?

Perimenopause is the transitional phase that can start as early as the late 30s or early 40s. Hormones like oestrogen and progesterone begin to fluctuate, triggering a variety of symptoms:

• Hot flushes, night sweats & disrupted sleep
• Mood swings, anxiety & irritability
• Brain fog, forgetfulness & fatigue
• Joint pain, low libido & vaginal dryness
• Weight gain, bloating & skin changes

Menopause is diagnosed when a woman hasn’t had a period for 12 consecutive months. But the symptoms don’t suddenly disappear – for many women, they continue well into their 50s and beyond.

These changes aren’t just physical – they can deeply affect a woman’s sense of self. She might feel like she’s losing control of her body, her mind, or her identity. Especially in our culture, where women are expected to keep giving without complaint, this journey can feel incredibly isolating.

Why Support Matters – Especially in South Asian Families

In South Asian households, women are often the emotional and physical backbone, caring for children, managing homes, supporting extended family, and sometimes also working full-time. So when she’s going through menopause, she may still feel the pressure to carry on as normal.

But without emotional and practical support, she may suffer in silence, internalising stress, shame or guilt – all of which can worsen her symptoms.

Understanding menopause and offering compassion can be a turning point for her health, her relationships, and her sense of belonging.

How You Can Be Supportive

1. Educate Yourself

If you grew up in a home where menopause was never discussed, start by learning. Understanding her experience helps you show up with empathy instead of judgment.

• Read about menopause from trusted sources
• Listen to midlife podcasts (especially by South Asian voices)
• Ask her how she’s feeling and if there’s anything she needs

2. Listen Without Dismissing Her Feelings

She’s not “overreacting” or “being moody.” Her hormones are changing, and so is her world.

Say things like:

• “I don’t fully understand, but I want to learn.”
• “I’m here for you – whatever you need.”
• “Tell me how I can support you today.”

Avoid saying:

• “It’s just part of ageing.”
• “You’re acting hormonal.”
• “You should be used to this by now.”

3. Be Patient & Kind

Mood swings, forgetfulness, or withdrawal are not her fault. Be patient if she snaps or zones out. Instead of reacting, show her gentleness.

• Offer reminders instead of getting annoyed if she forgets things
• Help around the house without being asked
• Create time for her to rest, pray, read, or do nothing

4. Encourage Self-Care – Not Self-Sacrifice

South Asian women are taught from a young age to put others first. But menopause is a time when self-care becomes essential, not selfish.

Support her by:

• Planning healthy meals that adapt to cultural favourites
• Walking or doing yoga together
• Suggesting calming practices like meditation or breathwork

5. Lighten Her Load

Menopause can feel overwhelming when life is already full. Offer to take over the small things that make a big difference.

• Do the weekly shopping
• Cook her favourite daal or curry
• Take care of the kids for an evening
• Be flexible with home or family plans

Final Thoughts: Be Her Safe Space

South Asian women are often celebrated for their strength. But in midlife, they don’t need to be stronger – they need to be supported. Your presence, your patience, and your kindness can transform this chapter of her life into one of renewal and rediscovery.

So, whether you’re a husband, son, daughter, sibling or friend – be part of the change. Break the silence. Make space for her voice. And help create a culture where menopause is met with dignity, not denial.

This isn’t just her journey – it’s all of ours. Let’s walk alongside her, not ahead or behind. With love, with empathy, and with grace.