Unspoken and Unwell: Why Menopause in Our Community Can’t Stay a Secret

Ask any group of South Asian women in their 40s or 50s if they’ve ever had a real, open conversation about menopause, and chances are, most will say no. Despite being a universal experience, menopause remains one of the least discussed topics in our families and communities. The result? Countless women are suffering in silence, confused and unwell.

We know how to care for everyone else. But when our own health starts to shift, we’re often met with silence or dismissal.

That silence is costing us our well-being.

The Hidden Health Crisis

Research from Women’s Health Concern and Menopause Support UK shows that women from ethnic minority backgrounds are less likely to access information, treatment, and support during menopause. And within South Asian cultures, where honour, duty, and family pride often take centre stage, personal health is rarely given space.

This gap leaves many women misdiagnosed or unsupported through symptoms that can last years – sleep disruption, anxiety, hair thinning, weight gain, and even heart palpitations.

I remember the moment I broke down in my GP’s office, convinced I was falling apart. Not once had menopause been mentioned in my family. I felt blindsided by my own body.

Why the Silence?

In our culture, menopause is often seen as the end of youth, fertility, and desirability – taboo subjects in many South Asian households. It’s surrounded by embarrassment and whispers, as if acknowledging it makes us less valuable.

This silence doesn’t protect us. It isolates us. It teaches our daughters to hide their struggles, too.

What Happens When We Start Talking

When we speak openly, we validate each other. We begin to see menopause not as a disease to fear, but as a phase to understand, support, and honour.

Conversations lead to community. Community leads to confidence. Confidence leads to action – whether that’s seeking medical care, asking for workplace accommodations, or simply not feeling ashamed of your changing body.

Ways to Start Breaking the Silence

1. Talk to One Trusted Person

Choose a friend, sister, cousin, or daughter. Say, “Can I talk to you about something I’ve been going through?” Vulnerability invites connection.

2. Use Storytelling as a Tool

If you’re nervous, start with your own story. Sharing your journey can open the door for others to say, me too.

3. Ask for What You Need

Need a fan in the office? More flexible hours? Better healthcare? Ask. You’re not being difficult – you’re advocating for your health.

4. Educate the Men in Your Life

Your partner, father, or son might not understand, but they can learn. Help them support you better by sharing resources and starting the conversation.

5. Join or Create a Safe Space

Support groups (online or offline), women’s circles, or cultural forums can help create a sense of belonging during a time that often feels lonely.

You Deserve to Be Heard and Held

Menopause isn’t a dirty secret. It’s not a weakness. It’s not something to hide. It’s a rite of passage – one that deserves compassion, knowledge, and community.

The more we talk, the more we heal. And the more we heal, the more we thrive.

Let’s break the silence – for ourselves, our sisters, and the next generation of South Asian women.

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Your midlife. Your voice. Your time. Each month, we’ll share reflections, resources, event updates, and real voices from our community – delivered with calm, clarity, and cultural care. Think of it as your gentle reminder to reconnect, realign, and rise into midlife with support and strength.